Another Year.

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Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi
Chaanv hai kabhi kabhi hai dhoop zindagi
Har pal yahan jee bhar jiyo
Jo hai samaa kal ho na ho 

I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with this song and the thought that I have spent ten years of my adult life already! Time has gone so fast. It seems like yesterday only I  enrolled in the school and those days where hide and sake game was utmost important and I was so happy with a toffee which hardly cost only 50ps. Somehow today I am missing my younger self.

My D-day, so definitely I need to be available for the video call. I was being pampered from last few days with Chocolates, books, Flowers and lots of wishes. Where I don’t know, what to name those relationships, without them life seems blurred and their presence sometimes doesn’t matter.

So, I was on a WhatsApp video call with my sister and her four-year-old daughter.
Sister: What’s the plan for the birthday?
Me: No plans. I am turning 28th
Kid excited: Mausi’s 28th birthday and I need to write a letter to Mausi and I’ll invite all my friends to celebrate your birthday.
Me: Shh! Don’t say 28th that loud! It is a secret between you and me.  Don’t tell anyone!

Kid with a thumbs up: Okay Mausi. Secret. Done. I will tell everyone you turned 38!
Me: Hey! What kind of a secret is that! The secret should be beneficial to me!
Kid confused and disappointed. She had given her best shot at faking.
Sister: You should reduce Mausi’s age. 38 is worse than 28!
Still, the innocent kid failed to understand, how the age matters.

Somehow, today I distinctly remember myself at my 18th birthday, that time when I wanted to be a rock star. I wanted to fly high with many colors in my wing. I reminisce that day so well because I thought it was a big milestone in my life. The world seems more color full and the people around feel like they all were close to me. How important and mature I felt at that time! At that age, we have so many dreams to be chased – to change the world, to conquer it. We feel so powerful!

I want to tell you all, on the verge of your adulthood, few things you must have experienced but you might have failed to realize. I am sure you have a beautiful vision for your future, but there are things that nobody may have told you, or maybe they did, but you failed to ponder on. 

The Future: Future, sometimes it sounds weird and the other time we spent half of our life sitting in the executive chair and staring at the computer screen, which doesn’t fascinate us. All the time we are worried about those moments which are yet to come. Life is short to lament on things that are yet to arrive, the candle has not been lit yet. Hold your bucket.
I will leave you with a quote I treasure, especially at that point of my life;
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for”
Find something that will get you up in the morning. Find the part of yourself that loves you. Stay with that part. Every one of us has that part that makes sure we stay in the dirt. They Say You rise you fall you rise you fall and you rise again. So don’t think much about the past and don’t worry about the future. Be with the time.

Life is short:  From time to time, I have a dream, in which I am about to do something exciting: something as adventurous as jumping off a cliff on a parachute. Or as simple as asking out a guy who I like. Or as embarrassing as singing.  I dare myself to do it. But I chicken out at the last moment. Then I wake up from the dream.

It was not real! I wish I had done it! I wanted to know what could have happened, what chapter could have unfolded.
You may feel that way about your life too when you look back. You will wonder what if, you had done a lot of things you wanted to do. You need to decide which episode of your life is worth unleashing, and which one is better remaining curtailed.

 Kuch to log kaheinge, logon ka kaam hai kehnaI have spent most of my life overthinking and overanalyzing. This year also, like any other year I have been hurt by some people’s words and behaviour. Today is a good day to let go of all the bitterness. Let me focus on better things. I have noticed that I may not like what some people say, yet I am grateful that these people have managed to stay in my life. Even if they say some stupid things, at least they call, text or show up.  Better than the ones who are not in touch. I guess this is the first sign of ageing! Gratefulness!

 The Single Factor:
Ahhhh!!!
You are early on your 30th still single. Do you have any problem? You are charismatic but what’s wrong with you. Did anyone ditch you? Ohh my dear Uncle and Aunt, why you people are having so many problems with my singleness. Are you feeling jealous?

Single Rehne De Mane Single Rehne De, Happy Hoon Main Happy Happy Rehne De

I am sure I am not missing out a lot many things. I made a lot of friends this year. From Shaadi.com to Jeevansathi.Com, from meetups to events in the city– I was everywhere! I Did meet some nice and interesting people through these mediums who I would not have met otherwise.

Weekends I get up at 12. Have lunch and head out. Evenings are usually spent in some nice place or cozy couch with a book.

Come on, come on, turn the radio on. It’s Saturday and I won’t be long. Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on. It’s Saturday and I won’t be long

No wonder, a lot of women in their 30’s and 40’s prefer not to get married unless they meet someone awesome. A lot of single women I know and I myself spend a lot of time and money on ourselves. Hair spas. Hair smoothening. Sexy dresses. Fun events. Nobody to answer to.

I guess it is badly ingrained in our minds that relationship will make us happy. I have had enough with this expectation. And the efforts directed towards achieving it. The next year will be all about me. About all the things that I have wanted to do.

Give me some sunshine.
Give me some rain.
Give me another chance.
I wanna grow up once again.

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